Murdoch:
O'Neil? Care to explain this?
O'Neil:
It looks like a Valentine's Day card, sir.
Murdoch:
I know that. I have eyes.
O'Neil:
And what a beautiful pair of peeps you have sir! The crows feet around the corners must come from years of joyous laughter with friends and family.
Murdoch:
I would love to tell you that this is the case, but the crow's feet come from the depths of my frustration, which is mostly derived by your incompetence, O'Neil.
O'Neil:
I know you act gruff, but deep down, you have a heart of gold. I have faith in your, sir.
Murdoch:
Your faith is misplaced, much like the items you have misplaced over the years.
O'Neil:
It's not good to dwell on the past. Live in the now.
Murdoch:
Speaking of which, is this card your handiwork?
O'Neil:
It seems you have a secret admirer sir! Ain't love grand?
Murdoch:
It's not much of a secret since I know this comes from you.
O'Neil:
Me? Oh no sir. Although I am a great admirer of your accomplishments, I can neither confirm nor deny to the be author of all the teeny-tiny hearts that your admirer has drawn over the "i"'s in your love letter.
Murdoch:
I haven't even shown you the insides of the card, and yet you already know too much about the script style. This is definitely you.
O'Neil:
A lucky guess! My theory is that you have caught of attention of someone from another department. Maybe Beatrice from the Black Ops division.
Murdoch:
We are not to speak of Beatrice. She is in deeply covert operations!
O'Neil:
Maybe she deeply covets your love and attention, sir! Crack open your heart and let the love flow!
Murdoch:
The only cracking I'm seeing in the future is your skull from the passionate impact of my fist. Admit it: you put this on my desk!
O'Neil:
Or... maybe it's from Bryce down in maintenance! I've noticed him winking at you in the slyest of ways.
Murdoch:
Bryce? That grease monkey? I barely know the guy!
O'Neil:
My intuition tells me he would love to adjust your manifold, if you know what I mean.
Murdoch:
Stop wiggling your eyebrows at me! I know this card came from you!
O'Neil:
Wishful thinking sir. What proof could you possibly have?
Murdoch:
You made the card from the letter that was issued to you from your last mission briefing. It has your signature on it!
O'Neil:
So it does! Clearly, you are trained by the world's greatest detective.
Murdoch:
I don't need to be Batman to know you're an idiot, O'Neil.
O'Neil:
I saw you at the Christmas party. You know how to strut a mean Bat-usi! Adam West has nothing on you.
Murdoch:
Speaking of detective work, aren't you supposed to be in the interrogation room?
O'Neil:
One could argue I'm being interrogated right now by you, which would make this the interrogation room, so the answer would be Yes.
Murdoch:
Not here! That spy we caught and locked in interrogation room 3. You were supposed to be questioning him to find out what he knows!
O'Neil:
Oh yeah... That guy. You'd think he'd still be in that room, right?
Murdoch:
I would. I would think that, since it was the one job you had to accomplish today. Just sit in that room and ask him a few questions and extract information.
O'Neil:
My social skills are legendary, sir.
Murdoch: [checking the surveillance feed]
Wait... why is our prisoner no longer in Interrogation Room 3?
O'Neil:
Yeah... funny story... I learned an important lesson today.
Murdoch:
What lesson is that?
O'Neil:
It turns out that a chocolate confection can completely masked the taste of knock-out serum.
Murdoch:
Oh no... You had one job, O'Neil!
O'Neil:
I'm a romantic, sir! And it turns out that the spy was very ... flexible!
Murdoch:
Flexible? What the hell are you talking about?!
O'Neil:
He somehow got out of his restraints, but instead of running, he produced a tiny box of chocolates and wished me a happy Valentine's day! How could I resist?
Murdoch:
Damn you, O'Neil.
[slowly crumples up the card]
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